Ways to Cope with #MomLife for New Moms
It is not every day that you stump Google with a question, but it surely can when you ask for a daily life job description of a mother. The most enthralling yet painful experience known to humans is motherhood. Yet where do you find a guidebook on how to cope with what this unpredictable journey brings its way?
Being mother to a toddler, I have realised the essence of motherhood is all the same–an unparalleled love for your child mixed with a complete disconnection from who you were before. It is difficult yet blissful, however if you are now trying to figure out what you need in the first place–then coping mechanism is the way to go. Here are five ways to get that hope for cope in your system to strive ahead in this metamorphic experience.
- Do Not Try Too Hard.
It is an overused wisdom passed over centuries yet a golden one. If you take motherhood as a journey, then you and your baby are cycling in your own lane. The other ones might look more joyful or perfect, but you can only cover a distance that is within your limit. Do not stretch yourself to be the perfect parent or mother that no one is. It is okay to make mistakes as far as it is not destructive or unhealthy for either of you. Another way to cope is to realise when you are trying too hard and pressing the stop button—its ok if the house is a mess and there are undone chores for days–take your time to recuperate what you are going through, seek the best help possible in difficult time to get things done or wait until you are ready.
- Focus On Being Self Aware
How often do we hear happy mothers make happy babies? Self-aware mothers make happier homes and family life . It is futile to think this job can be done alone–seek help during tough times if not offered. Even the most accomplished and ambitious women have broken down trying to cope with this role—it is difficult and no-one knows your baby or you better than yourself. Understand what triggers you, find things that amuse you and seek a therapist time to time if you want it—most of the times, what we look for are people who can listen, mirror and validate what you are trying to say. If you cannot find it within your family, then seek external help, spend time with friends or mom groups or caregivers.
- Side-line the Social media mommies
In your movie of life, you are the main lead. Hence, it is ideal you choose the script between Mother India or The Bold Type -Let the choice be yours, the one that fits you best. Do not be foolish to think mothers who make the healthiest food on YouTube, teach the best activity in reels or give parenting advice are parental figure and they are absolutely joyous and without struggle or stressful situation . Social media only displays one’s perspective of happiness, not their real difficult situations . It is ok if you cook simple yet healthy foods for your baby to catch up on Netflix. If your baby walks at 16 months instead of 12 it's fine. It is ok if you see women that slay the perfect work life balance when you sink into bed exhausted and numb. While the information in social media is useful, it cannot be your metrics to achieve. There is no key performance index in motherhood—there are only trials of patience and wellbeing along with rewards of happiness and strong sense of love for your child.
- Accept the New You
Post-delivery, my primary focus was to find the person I was before I became a mother. Motherhood is metamorphic–you have created a new being, and this experience rewards you with an entirely new self. One that is stronger with an emotional structure that has changed to take on this parenting role which is no less than being a superhero. Yet we hurry to look like the way we did or do things we enjoyed doing earlier. Whilst trying to do that, what if we lose out on this new version of life? Slow down, accept that this is the new you—one that has gifted life and continued the line of humanity. Often mothers feel miserable and put themselves through torturous regimes of physical wellbeing and societal outings while missing to realise healing takes time and so does adapting. Give time to explore what you have become; seek the goodness you have gained before finding flaws and maintain good physical health and mental health.
- Indulge to Evolve
Your baby needs a lot of things, however indulging for the baby does not mean you cannot buy for yourself. Stop depriving yourself of a dress that you love or a delicious high calorie meal to subscribe the way women are expected to be. Of course, your child is your highest priority, but so are you. When you create indulging time together, you nourish and nurture the child with you and the mother within you. She too deserves the best of everything doing such a fabulous job.
So, say goodbye to those guilt trips and embrace the anxiety attacks and bursts of happiness that you experience during this part of your life.take a cup of coffee or a bubble bath and say bye to every source of stress. Some say time helps - as the child grows the challenges are lesser. However, the truth is you stumble upon a new roadblock as time passes and being a mother who knows how to cope can be a way to overcome these without losing your perspective. Different mothers have different coping style or mechanisms and if you find your hope to cope, then let us know a positive feedback in the comments section!
click here to know how to make strong bond with kids
Sanuja a young mother to an 18-month-old daughter juggles various hats as the Director for ESY India , a leading POS Company in the country along with being the Co-Founder of Templelinks - A Mobile application platform that links temples and devotees online. An ardent advocate for women in leadership, her love for writing has paved way to tell stories of women from different walks of life.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.