How To Help Your Wife Through Postpartum Depression
Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash
I can remember how sad I was when I had my babies. Everyone said it is a joyous moment, something I will never experience again. Yet, I was sad. I failed to understand why I was feeling so unhappy and could not stop crying.
When I had my first born, the sadness came immediately but with my second one, it was the opposite. I spent the first couple of days in a state of utter euphoria and thought this time I won over the baby blues. But how wrong was I? It did not take me long enough and the pleasant feeling started fading away and sadness kicked in.
When a new mom is struggling with post-partum depression, it becomes a tough time for the entire family. As a new dad, seeing your partner go through that face may leave you confused and helpless.
But as a survivor, twice, I can tell you it gets better. For some people, it happens rather quickly while for others it may take a while. While you may feel utterly helpless, being a partner, there are things you can do to help your wife through this phase!
- Let her get some sleep
She will fight you and not want to let go of that new baby. She may pick up a fight and not let you help out. While she will win the battle most of the times, yet keep encouraging her. Do what you can to make her feel comfortable and confident about leaving the baby to you when she rests. Getting a good sleep will help her clear the brain fog that clouds the mind of a new mom. You can invite a relative she trusts to help you with taking care of the baby if possible.
- Be kind
You must be kind to your spouse, all the time, not just when you have had a baby. But at this time, you have to be in your nicest behaviour. Give her hugs, bring some flowers, wipe her tears and tell her how wonderful she is. Keep reminding her that what she is going through is just a phase and you are there for her. She literally pushed a baby out of her body, she deserves extreme kindness and patience from you. Hormones are at a peak surge right now and everything will make her cry, so try not to give her more reasons to get sad.
- Refrain from judging her
Do not question her sanity, even for a second. She already knows she is not her usual self and she does not need any more reminders from you. If you are not sure what is going on or you need to vent, do that with a trusted friend or a family member.
- Don’t take things personally
Even if you are in your best behaviour and being kind, she may still find reasons to be angry with you. Most of these times, she would not even know why. Yes, she is that confused. Hence, it is important to remind yourself it has nothing to do with you and soon she will be the woman you fell in love with.
- Seek help if required
If you feel she is not getting better and the feelings of sadness multiply or continue, it is better to seek professional help. Mostly this may be a phase that gets better after the initial weeks after having a baby but if that is not the case for you or if you are concerned about someone’s safety, encourage her to seek medical help.
Soon things will get better and she will be the same happy person you married. I know it seems too much and impossible to go away, but it will. Hang in there daddy! She needs you!
Disha, a mom of two little munchkins is a writer by profession and a parenting and relationship blogger. Through her articles, she talks about various parenting issues which are rarely talked about! An ex-chef and a culinary chef, she loves to bake and cook in her free time!
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store