The Post Delivery Mom...
Blog Submitted by Sonali Rana
Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash
It has been 4 full years since I became a mom myself and yes it was an exhilarating journey all through the nine months. I was 27 when I discovered that I was going to be a mother, what a day it was! Everyone around was so very happy. I kept working for a few months and left in the last trimester to welcome the little one.
What came as a surprise was…. No! Not the baby but the feelings associated with the baby. As mentioned earlier, I was completely excited for the baby, but this feeling did not change into the storm of motherly love and compassion the minute the baby was born. I wondered why?
Haven’t the entire women race been told right from the day of being an adolescent that we supposed to be the finest in the art of giving love, especially to the ones we bear in our womb. We talk to them throughout the nine months, we carefully choose the softest of fabrics, and we plan on different names and what not!
But the irony of the situation is, that no one in those times, or practically ever, tells us to think of our own self. Like in my case, I was completely unaware of the amount of pain I was about to go through to hold my baby in my arms, or the amount of blood I was about to lose for the next 60 days due to the entire baby and its birth situation or the amount of difficulty I was about to face with sitting up in the middle of night, not to mention 4 to 6 times each night, with numerous stiches to breastfeed the newly born.
As a result it really took me a couple of days to muster those tender-hearted feelings for the baby. I cried for not being the ideal mother, for not feeling the way I should have felt, but now when I look back on those days I quite find myself to be a strong woman. Someone steady enough to get through all that pain and yet with the flow of time be able to forget all that discomfort and love the fruit of that pain without any other feelings.
So with my experience what I have gathered is that undoubtedly the joy of having a baby is the best in the world, and we do need one to make ourselves feel complete, but in this entire process, we do a little injustice to our own selves as humans!
The tag “POST PARTUM DEPRESSION” is not new but we still don’t gather the ground reality of the same. We just think of it as a fad amongst the upper middle class women. But no! That is not the case, as each and every woman goes through the equal amount of pain while giving birth. As they say, it is like breaking over 200 bones in one’s body, all at the same time!!!
So yes, everyone out there who has given birth is completely entitled to be a little selfish for a while. Give her a few soothing words, praise her efforts, share not just her responsibilities but her pain, and you’ll see her getting better every day that too with a glitz on her face and affection in her heart.
As for me, I am all set to welcome my second one, but this time I am a little more concerned about myself, a little more aware of what is going to happen and a little more ok with the situation that is about to come where in “I MAY NOT BE THE PERFECT MOM”, and this time I will be fine with it as I know, gradually I WILL get there.
Sonali Rana, is currently enjoying the leisure of being a stay at home mom, and is thus exploring her writing skills. However, earlier she was into the teaching profession for 9 long years. By profession, she is a Post Graduate Teacher English. An enthusiast in learning new words, phrases and much more, she tries to use simple yet refined language to convey her stories to her readers.