Equal Parenting: Yes or No
There is nothing wrong to say that a child always needs a mother's attention. A mother's instinct is everything for a child. Since the day she carries her baby in the womb, the hormones force her to bring out her motherly nature. Before a child could express the feeling, the mother understands her child.
For a father, it is a kind of win-win situation. He has a loving wife who is carrying the baby in the womb. He is the external support for both the mother and the child. His thoughts are emotional too but also lead to practical decisions.
Modern-day couples when they become parents, focus on the term "equal parenting". Equal parenting is not about earning money to secure the family's future. Money is important but on top of that physical, emotional and social support is important too.
What Is Equal Parenting?
Though we live in the fast age of technology and apps, still traditional parenting methods are prevalent. Many new parents start equal parenting to get social validation. The comment they receive from people like "oh, wow both are sharing their responsibility as parents. It's so nice to see their efforts."
Such comments only give them temporary inner satisfaction. But, reality hits hard. They are far more away from the real definition of equal parenting. ESP i.e. equally shared parenting is a journey. Here, you do not want to grow your child as everyone does. You grow with your child.
Equal parenting does not need any validation or criticism from others. It needs mutual trust and respect from partners for each other in this parenting journey. Both mother and father of a child are responsible for the upbringing of the child. Even the child grows up seeing both parents taking equal responsibility in the family. It creates a positive mentality in the child.
Challenges Of Equal Parenting
For years and ages, we all know that mothers enjoy the whole cake of growing up the child. From generation to generation we are fed with this mentality. When a couple brings in equal parenting concepts in their family, it is a new practice that questions the traditional parenting style.
The challenges come from the following areas:
- Family especially elders
The above sections are always ready with their remarks, comments, and criticisms. Rather appreciating your new effort, they are always on gunpoint to fix your way with lots of advice.
But to be precise, parenting the 'then' kids was much easier than 'now' kids. They are advance, experimental, and sharp in observing and analyzing things from a very early age.
Another challenge is the behaviour, attitude, and ideology of the couple. Every couple has its own set of parenting skills and techniques. Hence, when you decide on equal parenting you have to work on your differences.
Individual differences need to modify when comes to equal parenting. Your ideologies towards life may be different. But, the idea of parenting your child should always synchronize for both of you. In equal parenting, no one should be authoritative towards the other partner.
Well, fathers are equally giving their best to become the master in parenting. So, a mother should respect the effort. Even if he does the mistake in any child's activity or responsibility, a mother should take time to explain the mistake when the child is not around. Do not scold like a teacher in front of the child. It creates a negative impression in the minds of the kids about their parents.
Benefits Of Equal Parenting
When couples believe in equal parenting, they walk in this journey as a team. Parents always want the best for their kids. But you should have to realistic and do not expect too much from the baby. Perfection is not the key to the parenthood journey. A little imperfection implies equal parenting.
It allows you to enjoy parenthood. One parent is not loaded with too much parenting daily task. You both have an equal share of responsibility to take care of the baby. Both parents can remain aware of the child's upbringing.
Both of you take responsibility for the tests and trials of the parenting journey. One parent will not feel exhausted in raising the child. Equal parenting keeps away the stress from your life. It brings positivity in your life when you start a parenting journey with a positive mentality. Sharing parenting responsibility also gives you confidence, knowledge, the power to protect your child from unseen dangers. You both offer social security to the child, which is very much needed in today's time.
In the end, nothing is impossible. Today, whether you are working parents, or one parent working and another parent is stay-at-home or freelancer, you can achieve success in raising a positive kid with your effort. Every new start has its own set of challenges. But, as parents, you have to look into the opportunities that this new soul can bring to our society.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store