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Have you ever found yourself wondering how to keep your child engaged when you want to have a tantrum-free “me time”?
Do you find yourself at your wit's end convincing your child to do his homework?
Are you one of those moms who always feels guilty for not spending enough time with your kids?
If your answer to any or all of these questions is a big loud “Yes” then there is a need for you to retrospect and bring back the good old “Time-Table” or in more trending terms for millennial moms, it's time you set ROUTINES!
A study by psychologist Jennifer Weil Malatras found that “Children who follow predictable daily routines are less likely to have problems in time management or attention problems as adults."
Routines are a set or series of activities that you repeat every single day in a timely sequenced manner until it becomes a HABIT!
For example, When I get up the first thing I do is sit for a good 5 minutes and then automatically I move towards the bathroom and brush my teeth, drink water, do my affirmations, do 50 rounds of skipping, and my meditation to set the day, jot down the to-do list, and then move for breakfast.
I follow this sequence of events unaltered, without fail without change in sequence, every single day!
“What you do automatically each day from morning to night, throughout the day sets your routine of the day."
Schedule the Night Routine First
- Children as young as two can easily understand the sequence of events you want them to follow when you give the “Habitual Clues”.
- Habitual clues are signs you give them daily for a particular activity which subconsciously gets registered in their Brains.
- Though we consider the mornings to be the best time to start the day, the prep work starts the night before. Decide how you want the next day to unfold. Make a rough flow for your child’s day.
- Consider your child’s opinion while making the plan for the day as they will be willing to execute things that they have planned. Make use of Colours and lots of imagination in making the routine interesting, eye-catching and engaging to the kid.
Give Time Some Time:
- Don’t expect your child to do everything that you have planned on the first day itself. Remember, Patience always pays.
- Make the schedule flexible and remember why you are following this schedule. It is to make things smooth and ultimately to have a peaceful home environment.
- Give time some time ! We are bringing discipline in your child’s life, not turning them into Robots.
Celebrate Small Victories:
- If your toddler finishes half a page of his homework in the scheduled time, appreciate him, gauge his mindset and free him if he doesn’t want to.
- Now the trick here is to control the urge to force him to complete it because when you do that it will make him dread this homework time.
- Though it may seem too pressurizing but you can get it done the same day at some other time
- Remember it is okay to loose some battles to win the war.
- Let him free and he will come back to his schedule happily and will perform better than the previous day.
Link Habits:
- I linked the study time of my son with his bath time. How did I achieve it? I started telling him we have to study after bath. I kept repeating this so, after a week or so when I asked him what we do after bath, his reply was an instant “Study”.
- Repeat the morning routine you have set for them every day, take them to their colorful timetable and ask them what comes next. This will keep them engaged and productive.
- Start giving them cues previously about what comes next. This will not stress them and they will have clarity about how the day goes about.
Be Flexible:
- Let’s accept that we don’t like to repeat the same old routines, and neither would our kids. Respect their need for change or if they don’t want to do a certain thing on a certain day. Always remember the why of things and avoid “Power Conflict”.
- Ex: If he doesn’t want to eat certain veggies then add a dash of poppadums to make it more fun or something which will make it tastier for them. Don’t be rigid and always remember what you set out to achieve. Dictatorship or a filled tummy?
Don’t Set Time Frames, Set Time Blocks:
- How many of us have made time tables which goes something like this: 6 a,m Bath, 7 a.m exercise, 8 am breakfast… and how many time has it worked? Instead of rigid disappointing time-bound timetables opt for time blocks to do things.
- So set a block of time where you will complete 4 tasks for the morning from 7 to 11 a.m. rather than stringent rigid time limits.
Last but Not the Least, Set Your Routine First!:
- When parents have their time in control, the kids will follow suit, and that is too easy. Be an impeccable role model for your child and tell them why doing certain things at certain times is necessary. Explain this more by way of action than words.
- "Be the change that you want to see in your child".
- Have you ever tried setting routines? How has it worked for you?
- Do share your experience with your kiddo and remember that whatever you tell them becomes their inner voice.
So, what voice are you living with? Is it time to change it?
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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.