Tips to raise a confident child

Blog Submitted By Devanshi Maniar 

Wouldn’t it be nice if all kids are confident and spunk? Every parent wants their babies to be extroverts and want them to mingle with others, be it school, parks or your own society play area.

Self-confidence comes from a sense of competence. A confident child needs a positive and realistic perception of his or her abilities. Your encouraging word can help a lot.

Here are few tips to help build self confidence in your child:
1. Love your baby
Every parent loves their children. Yet I am highlighting this is because every child has the need to be accepted at loved in the social circle which may include extended family, friends, school mates, sports teams and society. Children tend to make mistakes and sometimes that may be an unaccepted behaviour. Parents sometimes yell at them or make some other parenting mistake which they seem fit at the moment of anger. This is normal. Do not feel guilty. You are raising the future of human race. However, when things get settled, apologise to the kid and shower them with hugs, kisses, or may be some extra play time. This will make them understand what you did to them was out of unconditional love for them.

2. Baby talks need not necessarily be baby talks
We all know babies are very quick in grasping things. Yet, we sometimes feel that they are too small to understand what we are trying to tell them. However, baby talking plays a vital role. I used to ask my 6-day old daughter to straighten her legs when I swaddled her even though I helped her to straighten it. gradually I started telling her she has to be swaddled and she straightened her legs. I smiled and told her that she was a smart girl.

3. Respect their decisions
This dress or that? This shoe or that? Park or mall? Small things, yet it was her choice. I respected that and made her feel confident. Today, she knows what she wants and confidently asks for it even when she is surrounded by strangers. Also, we can teach the child to be adaptive by reasoning why they can’t get what they ask for. Give alternatives instead.

4. Importance and independence
Children should be made to feel important. Ask them to help you in basic things. For example, opening the new diaper during diaper change (the taped ones). My daughter loves to play in kitchen. So, I spread all spoons on the floor and keep a basket there. I request her to help me clear this mess while I cook meals. She crawls all over the kitchen and puts every spoon in the basket. Opening the bin to put the used diaper or wrappers seems an achievement for them. This activity I introduced when she was able to stand on her own. You must decide activities based on what new milestone they have achieved.

5. Praise their accomplishments
We have a simple rule, clap for everything done correctly. Hugs and kisses are bonus. I never have any material rewards like chocolates or toys. A cheerful yay or hurrah, hi-fives, and claps! She feels so happy with these achievements. Also, I announce her achievements to everybody when she is around.

6. Travel
Babies who travel are more confident because they have experienced variety of sounds, sights and smells. They have been close to nature and interaction with so many people for various cultural backgrounds. Traveling can be going to theme parks, play areas, zoo, aquarium or a short weekend getaway, anything which is not a part of their normal routine.

7. Be available when they need you
I understand that this may not be always possible, but think from the baby’s point of view. Sometimes all what they want is to stay with Mumma or daddy despite of the baby being a social butterfly. Respect that. Give them more hugs and attention. Ask them if anything is wrong. Indulge in some new fun activities together.

8. Do not compare
We all know each baby is different. We take our babies to parks etc where they meet other kids. Do not compare them with other kids. In the competitive world, set realistic goals. An 8-month-old baby having teeth will eat chapati whereas your 8-month baby may not have developed teeth so still feeds on porridge. Be calm and motivate your baby in whatever they are doing well.

9. Tell them about new surroundings well before they are there
This has helped me in a very positive way. We had lots of visitors at our home when my daughter was born. I always used to tell her before hand that daddy’s sister is coming to meet you today. We are going to dress up in those new clothes. Give a smile when she holds you. she is very playful and you will enjoy her company. Mumma will be around so don’t cry. These talks may seem silly but for a 3-month-old baby, it will make them feel important.

10. Teach resilience
No one succeeds at everything all the time. There will be setbacks, failures, criticism and pain. These experiences can be dwelled as learning experiences rather than hurdles and obstacles. The old age saying, “try, try, try again”, has a merit especially in teaching kids not to give up. It is also important to validate the child’s feeling rather than just saying, “cheer up” or “you shouldn’t feel so bad”. This will help them to trust their feelings and share it with others. They will understand that setbacks are normal part of life. Talk to them on how they can do better next time. Take pride in accomplishments.

11. Indulge in sports
Sports play a vital role in confidence built up. They learn that they can practice, improve and achieve goals. Also, they learn to recognise their strengths, accept or strengthen their weaknesses, handle defeat and learn teamwork. Bonus: they stay fit and learn to respect their bodies. Try to find physical activity that your child enjoys, whether it is dance, martial arts football or hiking.

I will be glad to read in the comments on how you boost up the confidence of your little one.

Devanshi is a Chartered Accountant by profession and currently a SAHM of a one year old super active toddler. She is an avid reader and developed interest in writing blogs while she was on her maternity break. She realised that motherhood is very easy only until you are an expecting mother. So she decided to help other mummas by blogging about her motherhood hacks. Apart from this, she is a momfluenzer on instagram with her insta handle https://www.instagram.com/kiana_and_me