Say 'NO' to Toxic Parenting
We all know that as a parent, as a mother we have two sides.. One on which we are extremely proud of. For example, Being the caring mama, to play the role of playtime partner to our kids, the splendid storyteller, the attentive agent who never misses a chance of sniffing bad vibes around or within our kid and what not.. And then the other side on which we are not so proud of.. and sometimes we are even guilty too. A mother is someone who is a mixture of both these sides. So now let's see few things which needs to be said 'NO' to avoid piling up of negative side of parenting in us:
1. Comparison never cures
Comparing our kids with other kids is a big no-no. Each child is differently gifted, has different likes-dislikes and has totally different list of strengths-weaknesses. As a mother we need to first closely observe our little one's personality and just simply embrace & cherish the way they are.
Also, comparing ourselves with other mothers is a witchy work too.. Just remember you are the perfect blend of the exact motherhood qualities which your kid needs.
So, from now if you come across any other mama who wears 2 size smaller jeans than you or cooks more innovative recipes for kids, then just compliment her because she also must be envied of you for something, being totally unaware of her good qualities.
2. Loosen up the strings
As a mother we try to hold tightly all the strings related to our kiddos life. May it be their choice of clothes, games, friends or even just selection of crayon to colour their drawings..
It's totally fine if he/she colours an elephant with pink crayon, let’s accept their crazy creative imaginations, messy moods and most importantly INDEPENDENT CHOICES.
We give too much stress to our relationship with our children by being rigid ringmaster who wants to decide all the when-what-whys.
Loosen up ladies and let the kids have their own freedom and let your own mind have a much much lesser stress.
3. Picky mamma raises a picky eater
Many times, mothers complain about their kid being a picky eater. But if you see under the layers of parenting of that kid, there lies a picky mother who is not ready to adjust either.
Humans knows very well from the very first breath about when they are hungry & how much to eat. I have seen so many mothers who literally runs behind their kids with a plate full of food that's totally non-edible or making lunch-dinner time look like a wrestling match.
If you want your kids to run behind you to have that food then change your rigidity towards intake time & quantity of food, style of presenting the food to them and most importantly LET them be hungry first.
4. Negative seeds never give positive fruits
If you want to have fruits like intellectual intelligence, kind heart, smart brain and confident personality in your child then stop sawing the seeds like threat, bribes, negative talk and pointing at their mistakes all the time.
If you want them to be healthy, set an example of healthy person for them.
If you want them to eat everything, make them understand how the veggies are grown, what it takes to have one tomato in hand. Respect and relatability will lead to inclusion.
If you want them sleep-eat-play and learn on time, then make them understand the difference between discipline and disorder with tiny examples of your own routine.
Making them dance on your tunes with threats or bizarre bribes will only lead to raising a human being which you never wanted your kid to be like.
5. Give them more positive qualities to imitate
Kids are worst at listening but best at imitating. So, based on this miraculous rule, give them more and more positive points to learn from you.
One day I sat for dinner with a plate of salad, and I served it only in my plate. My 3 year old girl asked me, ‘what’s that mamma?' I told her, ‘That’s carrot, mumma needs to be strong, so I'm having it' immediately she took 2 pieces, kept in her plate and said, ‘I also want to be strong'
So, this is how it works. If you will yell, they will yell. If you constantly complain, they will also become a complain box. If you are frustrated all the time, they will also be irritated on small things. If you are egoistic, they will also never learn to say sorry.
Give them an example of lovely, kinder, compassionate and most importantly a HAPPY human being.
Above all these, there’s one simple rule that everybody and everything can be handled with LOVE,PATIENCE & COMPASSION. Give your kids these three lifetime Vitamins limitlessly along with daily dose of your precious time to raise a healthy human being..
Roshni Joshi is a Vadodara, Gujarat based writer,poet,painter and content writer. A part-time admin at a Hospital and a happily full-time mother to 2 kids. She loves to write short poems, blogs and also content for few firms. She also loves to try her hand on designing Social Media creatives for few firms. Art in any form is a core part of interest and passion since childhood for her.
Here, she has shared 5 points to say NO to negative parenting based on her own experiences and
You can reach her on Instagram at roshi_thelight
And on Facebook at Roshni Raghavendra Joshi.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.