Relevantly Irrelevant: The Story of a Mom to Be
Photo by Fallon Michael on Unsplash
Did you have dreams of being that uber-active, under-fuss mom-to-be? Well, I always did.
I always dreamed of being one of those who would work till the day I popped. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Working has always been fun! It makes you feel independent and relevant and appreciated.
When I first found out that I was pregnant, I was so excited to see how it would take me through my day, I was secretly excited to see how the growing bump and active lifestyle would fuse and looked forward to the compliments
Things don’t always go as planned.. and neither did my first pregnancy.
A couple of weeks of bed rest followed by seven months of gut-wrenching nausea resulted in work slowly fading out of my day. I started off thinking I’d go back as soon as I could, but that day never seemed to show; before I knew it, it was too late and you’re already assumed to be on maternity leave with others taking over your responsibilities.
When you go from being that young, enthusiastic, super-organized, borderline- workaholic wife to a homebound, confused, yet-to-be-mom, the transition isn’t easy.
No, I don’t mean anything as grave as being depressed and suicidal, but yes, feeling irrelevant can be saddening.
The spectrum of my thoughts and feelings rainbow taught me a lesson or two and helped me to look forward to all the excitement that’s about to come. Here’s what I learned:
Establish a routine, as boring as that may sound - You and your PJ’s cant be BFF’s. When you first start to stay home, it feels like a mini-vacation. You feel like you ‘deserve this’ after your years of a regiment and hard work.
HOWEVER, after a couple of days of lazy mornings, it’s time to set an alarm, get up, get dressed and find something to do! ( No, lying on the couch checking the ‘news’ on insta doesn’t count)
Heres what worked for me :
- I found morning walks and workouts helped set the tone for the day and reduce nausea
- meditation, even if just a little, helped to find balance
- A ‘no TV before lunch’ rule forced me to engage in a constructive activity every morning
Find something or things to do every day - Finding a hobby is not an easy task, finding the remote and binge-watching gossip girl is, but you’ve got to find one anyway. Read a book, paint a picture, take a dog training course online (guilty!) or try your hand at blogging ( like I am) but find something to do EVERY DAY. It’s very important to have something to look forward to. If you don’t, you may eventually start to dread the next day or ache to stay in bed with the fear of nothingness.
Check your thought-o-meter regularly- If physical discomfort wasn’t bad enough, pregnancy also brings on a slew of unpleasant emotions. Add this to your much-more-idle-than-before-brain and you’re a ticking time bomb! You might find yourself obsessing about house help inefficiency or air quality in the country or (all-time favourite) the emotionally-absent husband.
Every time you think you’re less you and more teenage drama queen, stop, think and learn to keep control! If you let yourself go, there will be too many bridges to mend; losing house help being high on the list of losses ;)
Most importantly, be proud - Initially, I’d find myself a little embarrassed when people asked me why I wasn’t at work. In my head, I wondered why myself. Is admitting to taking it easy shameful? Do I sound aimless or less driven? What I learnt is - those were all the wrong questions! The REAL question is - Why should I care about what anyone else thinks!
If you are happy, find purpose, enjoy your time off then make the most of it! Walk up to every uncle and aunty at every party telling them that you’re not going to work right now, instead, you’re enjoying your pregnancy and some time off!
You may be running to office or taking time off, working out or working hard, dizzy with emotions or ecstatic with excitement, chasing deadlines or chasing dreams.
Whatever you do, I know how hard it is for you!
So keep your chin up and your hopes high and let your pregnancy trace the path of positivity for all new beginnings.
Full time animal lover and soon to be mom, Tina found her passion in teacher training and bringing life and practicality to school classrooms.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store