Promising ways in which Parent can Inspire Self-Love in Children
Have you seen Taimur Ali Khan? My bad Who hasn’t , Right?
There is always papparazi surrounding him and his little brother Jeh.
Does it bother you that a kid who is unaware of the whole media glare gets constantantly scrutinized and papped? While some may call him a spoilt brat while others pamper him with beautiful adjectives.
Though he can’t read or understand much about all the fuss going on around him, there will come a time when he will start understanding.
So which version of the media should Taimur embrace?
We live in a world where even a small mistake gets highlighted, trolled, made into a meme and the person’s worth is shredded into pieces and there is a media trial for everything.
Though our kids are not part of media or publicity, but they are part of the growing generation which is part of the social media.
While some parents may refrain from sharing their family pics or their kids achievement online, there are others who enjoy sharing their joys with their social media families.
While this may be easy for the parents, when it comes to kids their analysis of situations is different.
They may gauge their sense of self-worth from likes or emoticons.
So what can parents do to ensure that kids have a high self-esteem irrespective of their presence on social media
The answer is to teach them self-love.
I can’t find a better quote for self-love than this by Buddha,
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
We live in world where we constantly seek validation from others for loving ourselves!
So the best gift you can give your kids at the end of 2020 is to show them how to love themselves.
So here are ways in which you can inculcate this mandatory ritual in your child’s life.
Teach Them Affirmations!
Have you noticed how unconsciously our children choose negative talk to gain that hug and kiss? “Nobody loves me” is their way of saying , love me more!
Though it is essential for parents to express their love and care for their children through hugs and kisses and cuddles it is all the more essential for you to emphasize the point that saying positive affirmations is the way ahead.
Teach them some basic affirmations in your mother tongue that they can repeat when going to sleep or after waking up. I can’t emphasize enough the power of words on our subconscious mind.
Affirmations like “I love myself”, “I am a happy soul” or “ I love reading and writing” can change the scenario is days. Especially if there is particular thing they are struggling with it will change the course of their thoughts.
Show Them What Self-Care Is
Self-care includes hygiene, grooming, discipline, playing, setting boundaries.
Ask them to observe how they feel when their nails are cut, when they wear clean clothes, when they eat nutritious food, when they play.
Explain to them how playing releases “Happy hormones” which makes them joyous so that they know what goes on in their brains. Ask open ended questions and wait for their answer before bombarding them with information. You will be surprised at what they already know.
It’s Alright To Have Different Opinions.
Many children feel that “doing” certain thing a certain way that makes them a “good boy” or a “bad boy”. They are constantly waiting to do the right things to see your approval.
Tell them that you love them irrespective of what they do and even if it is not what you want them to do. Tell them that they should love themselves even if they are not able to do all things “correctly”.
Self-love is such a vast ocean that it takes a self-loving parent to demonstrate self-love to their kids. As I always say, It all starts with you. Start loving yourself! Your kids will learn what you do. Always live by example and your kids will have a smile even after the spilt milk on the ground.
Mistakes make you Human
This is the most important part of self-love. How do you react when they break your prized phone or drop that glass of water. When you demonstrate that it’s okay to make mistakes you prevent them from always being in the “fight or flight” zone.
Next time they do something like that smile and say it’s okay , but tell them that they are accountable for what they did and ask them to help you clean out the mess.
These tips will bloom the bud that your child is into a glorious flower. You will forever be grateful to yourself for instilling this in your child because the future seems so competitive and on the edge of self-doubt.
Let your child be the light that lights the others lamps!
Dhanya calls herself an impatient inquisitive seeker. She is an engineer mom who has learned motherhood on the job and implemented techniques by reading innumerable books and through research.