Parenthood & Intimacy
Photo by Taylor Deas-Melesh on Unsplash
New parenthood comes with joys and surprises,
It is also a journey full of exhaustion and a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
Lisa and Andrew had just delivered their twins, the new parents were on cloud nine. Exhausted, but overwhelmed, the parents welcomed their twins at home.
But, living away from the family meant that, the babies were to be taken care of, by the parents only. It seemed manageable at instant but, soon the cards started falling down.
Lisa and Andrew had cleaved their chores and responsibilities so that, their beloved babies don't have to suffer. Days flew by and, at night the bed was taken up by the babies leaving the parents at two corners of the bed, waking up to crampy spots.
As the babies grew into toddlers, the parents were already addicted to following the kids' time table. It was all about their children now, their food, their clothes, their shopping, their hobbies. Meanwhile, the parents had lost the charm of being the couple. They were all indulged in being good mother and father but, overlooked the emotional and physical intimacy between them.
Does parenthood impact the intimacy between a couple?
Lisa and Andrew were so much drained that, most of the times they steer cleared of conversations. There was a turmoil in their thoughts, that made them feel aloof. Soon the silence broke and, there came a point in life where they would only bicker and brawl. The love and care between them had eloped.
Their turbulence was instantly discerned my Andrew's mother, when she visited them on Christmas. She even tried talking to both of them, she wanted them to vent out their commotion and stress. But, her efforts went futile.
After many attempts, she was successful in convincing them to go out on a date, spend some time with each other and, she will look after the kids.
They both went to their favorite Thai restaurant after ages. The essence of candlelight, the slow romantic music was healing their hearts and the roses that Andrew bought for his lady, was cherry on the top.
At first they discussed their consternation, Lisa broke down. She told Andrew that "She missed his warmth." Andrew held her hand and apologized. That moment melted all the disputes. The feeling of emptiness had suddenly vanished.
They remisnised the old times. They talked about everything. They perceived how romance had slipped away from their lives, unknowingly. They promised to never take each other's companionship for granted. That amorous feeling was ignited again.
This isn't just the story of Lisa & Andrew but, it's the temulent path that every new parent goes through. And to distress, many give up their bond falling into this drained feeling. But, is it that easy to go away? Why do many of us forget that our kids need us as 'parents together' ? Isn't it important for every couple to give time to each other as much as they love their parenthood?
5 tips for new parents to keep their love and intimacy alive-
- Spend at least half an hour with each other after the kids go to bed.
- Never miss a chance to appreciate one another by giving flowers or chocolates.
- Don't overlook the romance , take each other on dates as and when possible.
- Discuss and vent on your partner.
- Encourage each other to follow their hobbies ( start over with gymming, music, dancing or even cooking ).
Remember happy parents raise happy kids and parents can be happy only when the couple in them is happily hitched!
Click here to read more on how to maintain a strong marriage after kids.