My Learnings As A Mom So Far
Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash
I have been a mom for 3 years now (I am including the 9-months that my daughter was in my womb as well). I have learnt a lot of things over these years as I am a first-timer. I have had my share of ups and downs, phases of self-appreciation, followed by intense feelings of self-doubt and helplessness on failing to understand what my little one is crying for. But I have evolved as a parent with the help of my husband (who has been with me throughout this journey), my mom, in-laws, friends, and fellow mom bloggers. While I had realized a few of these golden learnings sometime back, this lockdown period has actually allowed me to introspect and pen them down. Since I learnt them the hard way, I thought of sharing the top 5 learnings from my journey so far with all the first-time moms out there:
- Communication - Like in any relationship, communication is the key when it comes to a mom-baby relation too. This is something that I have been practising unknowingly since my daughter's birth. I used to keep blabbering anything and everything to my daughter (I have even cried in front of her when she was little). To my surprise, she seemed to understand everything I said to her. This is because even though kids don't understand our language, they respond to the emotion - whether it be love or anger. Since I am a working mom, I have always ensured that whenever I return from work, I enquire about my daughter's day. Now, many may say that how much can a 1.5-2 year old remember and tell, but honestly I was amazed at the response I got from her. She could recall a lot of things she did during the day and tell me happily about the day. Even now, during this lockdown I make sure I keep having these random conversations with her. It not only helps in their brain development, it also opens up their imagination. I love the stories my daughter tells me (she can even cook up stories on her own now)
- Involvement - Just like adults, children also need attention. And a lot of it. So, if you don't give them enough attention, they demand it in different ways which we may or may not like. So, when you want your kid to engage in a game or activity, you have to engage in it too. Of course you have other stuff to take care of, but you can at least get them started before leaving them to play by themselves. Please be kind and polite with your kids when they come running to you with something that they have created or are playing with. A few moments will not do you a harm but would mean the world to your little one.
- Imitation - Kids are just like little monkeys. They like to imitate everything you do. That's why it's said that you need to lead by example to teach a kid. I have realized this very strongly off late. When I wanted to set a routine for my daughter, I had to first form one for myself. When I was trying to toilet train my daughter or make her brush her teeth every day in this lockdown, then also trick came handy. Even for fussy eaters, if you start eating your food with them, slowing they will pick up that habit also from you. This might or might not work for all, but like I said, they just LOVE TO IMITATE. If nothing else is working for you, this trick is worth a try. On a general basis, most habits (good or bad) are picked up by kids from us. So we need to be cognizant of our ways in front of our kids.
- Honesty - Most of the time, we as parents shy away from answering some of the questions that our kids pose in front of us, thinking that it may not be the right time for them to know this, or this might have a bad/wrong impression on their minds. But trust me, the kids are very intelligent and understand things very quickly. They are humans like us and it's best to be honest with them rather than just ignoring their curious minds. I learnt this lesson during the lockdown, when I was unsure of how to explain the current pandemic situation to my little one. I kept giving her random explanations of why she could not go out but she kept coming back with the urge to go out. But one day I decided to tell her the situation as it is, and to my surprise she understood. And ever since she has been doing great. In fact, she has not insisted on going out and on the contrary has been reassuring everyone at home that once the virus is gone, everything will be good. So, my two cents on this - please be honest with your kid and answer their queries before they learn about it in the wrong way from someone/somewhere else.
- Reward - This is a very intuitive learning and most of us tend to ignore it. While there is an alternate school of thought which says that too much reward/appreciation can be harmful for the kid, I believe otherwise. I have tried this personally for my kid and it works great. Of course you need to be careful and know where to draw the line, but yes, if there is something that you have been wanting the kid to do for long but they have not been doing and suddenly they end up doing it one day, it's good to appreciate or reward them. This will help them understand that it's the right thing to do and that is why they have been rewarded for it. And this can be a stepping stone for you to teach them other things and how they would be good for them. Again, a word of caution - this may or may not work for all, but it's worth a try. Just be aware of what and how much leeway you want to give here.
Hope you find my learnings somewhat helpful. Do let me know if you do. Thanks for reading!
P.S: I am new to this blogging world and this is my first post. So please be kind and do let me know what you think of my post.
Ankita is a mother of a 2 year old and works in the financial consulting space with an MNC. She is also an entrepreneur and runs her own venture of handmade products. She likes to express herself through art, craft, poetry and more recently has taken to blogging. She believes in channelizing her energy towards helping others using her thoughts, values and belief. Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.