Mommy Shaming is Madness
Photo by Maria Teneva on Unsplash
I attended a family event recently. One of those events you don’t have the inclination to go but you still show up. First of all, the host assumed everyone to know the way to their house at ease when it was not. They wouldn’t answer the phone when u called stuck in an Uber unable to figure out through the never-ending mazes of streets.
As is the norm with any event that involves the family, many people approach you and conduct a mini sort of investigation on your life, barring a few obvious facts. At times you’re also advised on various aspects of life in general and some must-know life hacks, according to them.
Unfortunately, I was recently party to one such investigation by a person for whom I had utmost respect until that moment. While I was trying my very best to control my toddler who was running loose, this man walks up to me and we politely exchange pleasantries. He then goes on to ask where I am working now. I am a SAHM as of now and I tell him that. The look of disappointment he had was similar to mine when I check my weight. Next statement out if his mouth is “You know you’re wasting your time. You should start working “. It was only after a moment it hit me that he was talking about me being a SAHM. I almost held back my tongue but still couldn’t help giving him a strong reply.
This incident got me thinking, why can’t I prioritize being a mother? Being a mother and being a stay at home mother is a conscious decision I had taken. Two years back my biggest wish was to become a mother. Now that my wish is true, why can’t I just enjoy it? It is definitely not easy. But I kind of know what I signed up for. For the past two years nothing existed to me beyond my daughter. I’ve had my share of professional glories and sometimes I do miss the heady excitement of closing a deal or delivering a presentation or speaking with people across the world. But it is definitely worth more to have watched my child take her first step, utter her first words, read books to her and forget myself in her tiny hugs. This is something I wouldn’t get again. But a job I sure can!
To all those who think being a SAHM is easy, well I’ll let you live in your own sweet dreams.
By the way, I simply told that man “I’m not wasting my time. I am very busy being a mother. But I’m not expecting you to understand that”.
Whenever someone judges another it goes to show a lot about the person who is judging than the one being judged. I can forgive him for his action but I don’t think I can ever forgive his judgement. There are a lot of mommy shamers out there who take the pleasure in doing. The best way to deal with them is to pretend they don’t exist and turn deaf selectively.
You’re a damn good mother regardless of what you do and do not let anyone else tell you otherwise!
Did you ever have to get mommy shamed? What was it for? Do let us know in the comments and let’s thrash them all together!
Srividhya is a full-time mommy to a naughty two-year old. After having professional experience of 12 years, she quit her job to become a mother. A freelance writer and a part-time educator Srividhya is a self-confessed coffee addict and a bibliophile. She enjoys playing with
her toddler and watching Netflix whenever there is time.