'Locked With The Child' Era
Photo by Michael Berdyugin on Unsplash
When I stepped in the fourth month of my pregnancy, it was the right time to share the good news with office acquaintances. I remember one of my colleagues who was originally from South Africa and herself a mother of three children sending myriad forms of congratulatory words and at the same time telling me that life will not be the same dear.
Little did I know the implicit meaning of the statement back then. Like every new mother, I embraced motherhood gradually. Motherly instincts overwhelmed me sometimes and sometimes the guilt of a working mom ate me up. Most of you will agree with me that being a mom is no piece of cake. It comes with its own shares of giggles, tears and absolutely no scheme of things whatsoever.
Almost three and a half months later, here I am. I work with an international Publishing house and can easily juggle between the role of a new mother and an employee. The lockdown sounded blissfully great in the initial phases. All those years of guilt that I was unable to spend the much needed time with my child was somehow washed away.
Coming back to what my colleague said. In the lockdown, motherhood actually is a replica of a lady multitasking and completing chores like a pro. Exactly like the lady in cliché advertisements. This holds so true specially when the kid/s is/are any age up to five years. How do you go about explaining your three year old that if mom is at home, that doesn’t mean it’s an off for her. After days of ripping my hair apart along with my deep endeavour of striking a perfect balance between work and home, I can proudly say I have mastered the art.
The key is not in two Fs that is fret and frustrate but knowing the difference between passive time and quality time. Just know that these tender minds are restricted movement outside as much as we are and need who we need most- Us, their moms. So how do we do that:
- Don’t just spend time, spend quality time.
Irrespective of what age your child is, they know when you are with them both in terms of physical and mental involvement. For instance, you are sitting with let’s say two year old child and he is calling you lovingly. You are so engrossed in your cellphone but at the same time don’t want your child to know that you are not paying attention to him. So, you nod and say yes baby. You think you did your bit. But the child knows you are not with him. When he turns four, five he will be more vocal about it and complain.
- Identify your child’s interests.
They are artists in the making. They all have something that keep them seated and learning at the same time. This is when they need you. Appreciate and acknowledge whatever they do like pre school teachers do. This gives them a sense of accomplishment and proud. Make them proud.
- Applaud your child.
We are quick when it comes to reprimanding. Its human nature. Do you praise your child when they do the right thing. It really works. Also, they recall such instances. I make sure I pat my child whenever he does something worth patting.
- Read to your child.
There is no app to replace your lap. There is a world of fiction and non fiction out there. You just need to dwell in that world with your child. At the end of it, they will come up with new learning skills and so more. Make them curious, let them be inquisitive.
- Make sure you put your phones down.
With the advent of smartphones, the glued to screen time has increased exponentially. Keep aside the basic functions a phone is needed for, we all use it for n number of reasons some of which are only time consuming. Spare some of time on your child. Your child at the end of the day needs you, not things.
Don’t be guilt ridden but with a little more indulgence be a great mother. As your child grows, he/she will respect you all the more at you being such a perfect mother and professional. Lastly, more power to all mothers out there who are not just mothers but juggernauts and what not.
Cheers to motherhood.
Udita Saroha is an Education Marketeer working with a US based Publishing house. An MBA and English (Hons) by education, she spends her leisure time flipping the pages of classic literature and writing blogs.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.