How to Set Boundaries for our child
Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash
How to Set Boundaries for our child
Every parent loves to indulge their child in all their whims and fancies, this new generation of parenting, doesn’t believe in saying “NO”. Reflect a moment, we were raised with disappointments and happiness, duality of life was taught to us really young. We were not blind sighted by one sided request only. We were not granted all our wishes; rewards were set based on our achievement of goals. In order to raise healthy children with a healthy mind, it is imperative to adopt certain traditional practices as well. Often the word exposure is used as a reason for excessive screen time. Parents justify their excess screen time stating “its knowledge updation”, although the world has progressed rapidly and we are in the era of artificial intelligence, it’s very important to provide a happy childhood through simple boundaries.
Setting boundaries is often misunderstood to curtailing freedom. Very often young children look up to parents for important decisions and advice, at this juncture, we must not confuse them stating, “Do as you wish”. Our experience and wisdom have given us the ability to make decisions keeping in mind the bigger picture of life. As primary care givers of our young children, we must keep in mind the long-term health damage or disadvantage before we decide anything for them. In order to not feel overburdened as a parent, it’s important to have boundaries that define peaceful existence with gratitude and love. A few points are suggested below that you can follow to set boundaries
Establish sleep and wake up time on a daily basis, avoid weekend breaks and holiday breaks, a regular circadian rhythm is important for a healthy body and mind.
Insist on physical activity:
Insist on 1-hour physical activity every day at home, plan a weekly schedule of physical activity like cycling, skipping, yoga, dancing, aerobics, running, hopping or playing a sport. In case, if you face any difficulties, with your child not showing interest make them understand by saying examples of those who have faced health issues in your circle but not in a threatening way. The other way is to form a sports group of their age which motivates them to play.
Confining screen time:
Restrict screen time to only weekend, screen time includes iPad, mobile or TV, although educative, it’s a bit addictive too. The only positive impact of screen time are we gain knowledge and get answers for our queries within a moment. The negative impacts are lack of memory, impatience, absent minded and lack of thought process. Usage of gadgets produce more of negative impacts than positive impacts for a child.
Decision making on eating habits:
Are good eating habits essential for a child? Eating out is quite common, the latest trend is to consume foods which contain preservative and colours. When you ask your child, what we can prepare for lunch there would be a big list like French fries, pizza, burger, pasta, chapatti, chicken 65 ETC… Children are adamant in their eating habits, always wish to eat their own choice. I always recommend 60: 40 ratios about decision making on eating habits. Here, I briefly explain about 60:40 ratios. The 60 % is parent’s decision and 40 % is your child’s choice about choosing a menu for a meal. A child cannot understand the value of eating vegetables, millets, it can be done only through tactics, and if you eat your child will eat.
Learning an important aspect:
Learning is a never-ending process from mother’s womb to end of life. A quote says – Never stop learning. It has to be instilled in the minds of young children. As a parent use a technique – take a chart, stick your child’s picture and your child’s favorite and successful personalities who inspired the most. Then ask your child to write a quote on the chart – ‘I will never stop learning” in a big font. Finally paste the chart in your child’s study room in a visible area. By seeing this over a period child understands the value of learning. Learning is continuous process but sometimes it deviates the mind of children which is quite natural. Here you can be little flexible for younger children (3 years to 7 years) and as years go by emphasize on it. Make it a point about evening study hour at least 1 hour which has to followed from the age of 4.
Fixing a task:
Fix a small black board in your child’s room. Write a task daily on the board which you want your child to follow. Fix a time for your child to read the task give on the board. Few examples are given below.
- Brush your teeth twice a day.
- Everyday take a bath and freshen up in the evening.
- Avoid watching mobiles.
- Say thank you, sorry and excuse me when it is needed.
- Drink water frequently.
- Do your homework daily in the evening.
- Do not skip your 3 meals – breakfast, lunch and dinner.
- Eat fruits and vegetables.
- Be kind and give respect to your parents, teachers and friends.
- Regular physical activity for an hour is must for me.
- Cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze to stop the spread of germs. • I will always help my parents and grandparents.
- I will never stop learning.
- Be happy with what you have.
- The more you will read, the more you will know.
- If you can dream it, you can do it. • Love is the most important thing in life.
- A smiling face is a beautiful face. • Let us be honest with each other. • Stay focused on your task.
- I will persevere for my success. • Today a reader, tomorrow a leader. • Clean clothes make you feel confident and ready to take on the day.
- Doing exercise and eating healthy food make you stay away from illness.
- Early to bed early to rise.
There are four main priorities for children learning, playing, food and sleep. They have to do it systematically in a daily basis for their overall development. You have to understand without all four there is no life for a kid. Children are born with an enormous talent but as they grow, they need assistance and boundaries to understand that a balanced life is important.
About the author: Lakshmi Sakthi Alagappan lives in Thanjavur in Tamilnadu, India. She is an administrative officer at Blossom Public School. She is an administrative officer at Blossom Public School. She likes reading books, listening to music, and surfing.