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How to Set Boundaries for our child

by Lakshmi Sakthi 26 May 2023 5 Comments

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

How to Set Boundaries for our child 
Every parent loves to indulge their child in all  their whims and fancies, this new generation  of parenting, doesn’t believe in saying “NO”.  Reflect a moment, we were raised with  disappointments and happiness, duality of life  was taught to us really young. We were not  blind sighted by one sided request only. We  were not granted all our wishes; rewards were  set based on our achievement of goals. In  order to raise healthy children with a healthy  mind, it is imperative to adopt certain  traditional practices as well. Often the word  exposure is used as a reason for excessive  screen time. Parents justify their excess  screen time stating “its knowledge updation”,  although the world has progressed rapidly and  we are in the era of artificial intelligence, it’s  very important to provide a happy childhood through simple boundaries. 

Setting boundaries is often misunderstood to  curtailing freedom. Very often young children  look up to parents for important decisions and  advice, at this juncture, we must not confuse  them stating, “Do as you wish”. Our  experience and wisdom have given us the  ability to make decisions keeping in mind the  bigger picture of life. As primary care givers of  our young children, we must keep in mind the  long-term health damage or disadvantage  before we decide anything for them. In order to  not feel overburdened as a parent, it’s  important to have boundaries that define peaceful existence with gratitude and love. A  few points are suggested below that you can  follow to set boundaries 

Basic need: 
Establish sleep and wake up time on a daily basis, avoid weekend breaks and  holiday breaks, a regular circadian rhythm  is important for a healthy body and mind. 

Insist on physical activity: 
Insist on 1-hour physical activity every day at  home, plan a weekly schedule of physical  activity like cycling, skipping, yoga, dancing,  aerobics, running, hopping or playing a  sport. In case, if you face any difficulties, with your child not showing interest make  them understand by saying examples of  those who have faced health issues in your  circle but not in a threatening way. The other  way is to form a sports group of their age  which motivates them to play.  

Confining screen time: 
Restrict screen time to only weekend,  screen time includes iPad, mobile or TV, although educative, it’s a bit addictive too. The only positive impact of screen time are  we gain knowledge and get answers for  our queries within a moment. The negative  impacts are lack of memory, impatience,  absent minded and lack of thought  process. Usage of gadgets produce more  of negative impacts than positive impacts  for a child. 

Decision making on eating habits: 
Are good eating habits essential for a  child? Eating out is quite common, the  latest trend is to consume foods which contain preservative and colours. When  you ask your child, what we can prepare  for lunch there would be a big list like  French fries, pizza, burger, pasta, chapatti,  chicken 65 ETC… Children are adamant in  their eating habits, always wish to eat their  own choice. I always recommend 60: 40 ratios about decision making on eating  habits. Here, I briefly explain about 60:40  ratios. The 60 % is parent’s decision and  40 % is your child’s choice about choosing  a menu for a meal. A child cannot  understand the value of eating vegetables,  millets, it can be done only through tactics,  and if you eat your child will eat.  

Learning an important aspect: 
Learning is a never-ending process from  mother’s womb to end of life. A quote says  – Never stop learning. It has to be instilled  in the minds of young children. As a parent  use a technique – take a chart, stick your  child’s picture and your child’s favorite and  successful personalities who inspired the  most. Then ask your child to write a quote  on the chart – ‘I will never stop learning” in  a big font. Finally paste the chart in your  child’s study room in a visible area. By seeing this over a period child understands  the value of learning. Learning is  continuous process but sometimes it  deviates the mind of children which is quite  natural. Here you can be little flexible for  younger children (3 years to 7 years) and  as years go by emphasize on it. Make it a  point about evening study hour at least 1  hour which has to followed from the age of  4. 

Fixing a task: 
Fix a small black board in your child’s  room. Write a task daily on the board which  you want your child to follow. Fix a time for  your child to read the task give on the  board. Few examples are given below. 

  • Brush your teeth twice a day. 
  • Everyday take a bath and freshen up  in the evening.
  • Avoid watching mobiles. 
  • Say thank you, sorry and excuse me  when it is needed.  
  • Drink water frequently. 
  • Do your homework daily in the  evening. 
  • Do not skip your 3 meals – breakfast,  lunch and dinner. 
  • Eat fruits and vegetables. 
  • Be kind and give respect to your  parents, teachers and friends. 
  • Regular physical activity for an hour is  must for me. 
  • Cover your nose and mouth when you  sneeze to stop the spread of germs. I will always help my parents and  grandparents. 
  • I will never stop learning. 
  • Be happy with what you have.
  • The more you will read, the more you  will know. 
  • If you can dream it, you can do it. Love is the most important thing in  life. 
  • A smiling face is a beautiful face. Let us be honest with each other. Stay focused on your task. 
  • I will persevere for my success. Today a reader, tomorrow a leader. Clean clothes make you feel confident  and ready to take on the day. 
  • Doing exercise and eating healthy  food make you stay away from illness. 
  •  Early to bed early to rise. 

There are four main priorities for children  learning, playing, food and sleep. They  have to do it systematically in a daily basis for their overall development. You have to  understand without all four there is no life for a kid. Children are born with an  enormous talent but as they grow, they need assistance and boundaries to  understand that a balanced life is  important. 

About the author:  Lakshmi Sakthi Alagappan lives in Thanjavur in Tamilnadu, India. She is an administrative officer at Blossom Public School. She is an administrative officer at Blossom Public School. She likes reading books, listening to music, and surfing.

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22 Aug 2023 Annapoorani ganesan
Hi Lakshmi really impressive I WILL NEVER STOP LEARNING this not only for children but for us also good thought and all the best for your upcoming articles for which I m waiting
02 Jun 2023 A Jyothirmayee
Well written 👍👍 . As a parent i agree with you. Right from childhood he or she should be able to deal with pleasant and unpleasant experiences in life. A child should be able to accept Yes and No. The article is apt for the present generation.
02 Jun 2023 Meenakshi Krishna
Very nice and informative too
01 Jun 2023 Lakshmi Karuppanchetty
Nice article! 👌👏
01 Jun 2023 Alamelu

Well written article :)
There are times when I’ve felt traditional ways of bringing up children might help us handle few situations better. Too much independence might leave the child clueless sometimes , on the other hand it might lead the child to be hyper independent ( in sense that they might want to do everything by themselves without others support) , so a little guidance may not harm . Children can decide but we (parents) must be in a position to guide them right .
Any decision small or big child must be comfortable to discuss with parents and go about it ..
And yes , a ‘No’ from a parent for right reasons will definitely help child to cope with disappointments and practicality of life..

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