Do Not Consider Your Child's Education As Your War
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"Shivam! Did you see your marks? I explained the whole chapter so many times, didn't I?" Ambika's was about to lose her patience.
"Mummy! It's your fault! You weren't there at the time of revision. What would I do?" Shivam went to play after replying.
Ambika sat down on the sofa sadly. How was she supposed to handle this situation? Now her own son also blamed her. Her mother's health was critical and she had to go visit her home. She was actually helpless, otherwise she never goes anywhere during Shivam's tests or exam time.
Suddenly the phone rang. It was Shivam's class teacher call for a meeting.
"Oh! Now listen to them too…" Ambika thought.
Ambika rushed to meet his class teacher.
Radha Madam placed Shivam's test papers in front of her.
"Madam! I'm really sorry! It's my fault. I shouldn't have gone this time but I was helpless. I absolutely…"
"Yes, Ambika Ji, it's your fault" Radha Madam spoke in between.
Ambika's eyes were teary.
Offering a glass of water to Ambika, Radha Madam said, "It is your fault. Nowadays, you parents think your child's test and exam like a war like situation. Like it is like do or die. You have made yourself the commander of this war. Have you ever thought what would happen to the army if the commander is not there? Madam! The army breaks down."
"The first thing is that school studies are a total learning process and instead of absorbing it in a slowly in a natural way, if you try to force them absorbing the subject quickly, then will they be able to really learn anything?”
" See, Ambika ji, I am not saying that you should not help him in his studies, just help him to take his responsibilities. His learning, his victory, and his defeat. "
"But what should I do, Madam! I feel what’s wrong if my child gets the benefit of the qualities that are inside me" Ambika questioned.
"Tell me one thing, Ambika ji, are these qualities your birthright? Or have you also gone through the process of continuous learning then you have become capable of this? And don’t you think there is a difference in the environment of then and now? Competition is very high and if you make a habit of crutches, then you will have to support it lifelong! Yes, it may be difficult at first but you should believe that it is better to self-study. Your child is very confused, just because of so many learning methods."
Ambika had understood that it was completely wrong to be patting herself in front of everyone for Shivam's good marks. It was her fault to cut herself socially in order to be perfect; and also, to blame herself if Shivam’s marks were not satisfactory.
Parents! Children are clay pots. It is necessary to take care of them and give them a good shape, but if you try to mold these soft pots more than necessary, will they not break? There will be danger ahead. Who will know the future when you are not there with them? Teach them to take responsibility after they reach the suitable age. Exams can be a part of life, not life. Excess stress is dangerous for both you and your children. Make them believe that they will fight their own battle. You need not become the commander of their war. Losing and winning is the rule of life, but studying is a process of learning no war and every human has a different way of learning. Your children may be different from others children, let them feel and follow what is their way. Never dominate them too much.
These are my views and your point of view may be different. Feel free to leave comments on what you think!
Sushma Tiwari is a Writer, Blogger, and Author. She is the Brand ambassador at Paperwiff a multilingual writing community. Join her on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
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