Baby Sitting & Grandparents
Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash
When I rejoined office after maternity, the common question which I came across was "So who is taking care of the baby? Your parents or in-laws?" I was pretty prepared for the question as this is a concern which will pop in one's head, but what I was not prepared for was, the reaction of people when I told them that neither set of parents are taking care, rather she was dropped at the daycare because we as parents decide to take over the parenting role alone. I met with wide eye expressions, people even went to the extent of asking me, whether we not have parents to help us.
That is when I realized that, things are so wrong with my fellow mates, that they have taken grandparents for granted. I came across only 5% of the population including men and women who understood the practicality behind our decision. Rest all, even if they were not parents themselves, started pouring parental advises.
It was not an easy one to make, our little one was 6.5 months when we put her in daycare. Just like any other mom, I cried for hours together the night before the d-day. I sat outside the daycare for a week in spite of being assured that my little one has settled down. Not because I did not trust the teachers, honestly they are the best I could have prayed for. But because the mom inside me could not accept the fact that I was leaving my little one with someone else.
What I tried hard to explain to people is, your children are your responsibility, not your parents. They are at a phase right now, when they need to unwind and enjoy the days in leisure. They have done a great job in our upbringing, by sacrificing their needs and compromising their career aspirations. They have done their bit of parenting, and now they ought to have the space they deserve.
When a child is put away in daycare, parents rush to get them back home on or before time. It is because we as parents know, they will start feeling lonely once their friends leave. But when you leave the kids with grandparents, you are likely to stretch office hours. Did you give a thought, what about grandparents who are babysitting, they are not young anymore to keep up with the energy of the little ones anymore.
Above mentioned is a small example there are many more situations, like attending office parties or team outings and so on. We can take the flexibility of attending out of the office hour events, just because we know that out baby is in comfort zone with grandparents. But how many of us actually think about the granny who is running around the little one, or about the nana whose back is aching because of innumerable requests made by the little one for the shoulder ride.
It is time for us, as parents to take over that role. Of course, grandparents will be more than happy to help us out, after all, we are their kids. But don't you think it is selfish for us to maintain our career aspirations intact, our needs before theirs. It is us parents who need to make adjustments in our life and career for the overall upbringing of the little ones. After all, it was our decision to become parents, and we need to take charge. Also folks, please try to understand, grand parents are not baby sitters, they need their own space and freedom and we should respect that.
Shayantini is an engineer by profession and a passionate mommy by choice. She is a working lady and loves to write. She also enjoys gardening, blogging and travelling.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of The Mom Store.